Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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