So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
