isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he was CRYING into my vagina
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
