she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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