I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
