you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
