that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
should my penis look like a turkey
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
