I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
