Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
