am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
