I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
