do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
