How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize