Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
