I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
