He had one of those small greek statue penises
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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