you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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