you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
