I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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