i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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