hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
