this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
