Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
