Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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