First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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