Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
