I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
