Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
