Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
