God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
