My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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