i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
