The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
