Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
