1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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