So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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