So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
