One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
