Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
