I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
