My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
