Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
