Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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