oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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