Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
