its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
