so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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