You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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