It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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