Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
